Thursday, 3 November 2011

The plague...

that is self doubt.

Seriously, why do we do it? Why spend hundreds of hours slogging over something that you know will be 'the one' then spend even more hours making it 'so perfect you just know that it is the one?'

Then, after it's as shiny as a brass door knob, you submit it thinking that will be the end of it. You can now go on to write something knew and completely forget about the work you submitted, right?

Wrong.

I worked and reworked my entry for New Voices, trying to make it unpredictable, trying to take my CP partner's views on it and, gaining approval from her, subbed it to the London office.

And I thought it would be all over after that. I am sooo naive. Why couldn't I see all those excellent ways I could have improved it before? It's madness.

Even though I have my project for NaNoWriMo to 'take my mind off things' it's still not enough. Am I going to be a nervous wreck, refreshing my inbox several times a day for the next six months or does it get easier?

All views would be appreciated. It's not my first time subbing somewhere, but I'm beginning to realise that doesn't matter. My mind still plagues itself with doubt each and every time and I wonder if those who make it still feel that way.

5 comments:

  1. Wish I could say it got easier. The only way I've managed not to drive myself insane since July is by telling myself that I absolutely won't hear anything before 6 months is up. Being only 3.5 months since I sent it, I'm not driving myself bonkers with refreshes. I expect that to start in January, and continue for another several months.

    If by some quirk of fate I do hear before then, it's a gift from the universe!

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  2. I think it can be easier for some people and easier with different submissions. I'm okay until around the end of the estimated wait time and then the obsession can start. Keeping busy with the next WIP and chocolate is the key ;-)

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  3. I used to be more impatient than nervous, checking the letterbox multiple times a day, even when I knew the postie had already been! The nerves kicked in only in the past year or two. I try not to think about it, and that only makes me think about it more! As Lacey said, keeping busy with your next story is the way to go. It shifts your focus and gives you something new to have hope for while you're getting progressively more nervous about your sub!

    Even published authors get nervous apparently. I actually just read a post of Maisey's this morning about it (http://www.maiseyyates.com/2011/11/02/paranoia-jones-and-my-attempt-at-rational-thought/)

    I'm thrilled that you subbed your New Voices entry - that was fantastic! Best of luck, I hope you don't have to wait too long :-)

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    * Rio Prasetyo *

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  5. Thanks guys, been having a hell of a time replying for some reason. I know, will just need to put it to the back of my mind until May at least. It's hard though.

    I hope you hear soon Amalie, if I had a full in, I don't think I'd manage to be so patient :o)
    xx

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